I ain't sayin she's a gold digger...

I have just watched an episode of The Flavor of Love... and the flavor is sweet! Its like the Bachelor only the Bachelor is Flava Flav and instead of women the contestants are whores! What a twist! I was on the edge of my seat as he passed out the giant clock medallions (signifying that the whore gets to stay) to NewYork and Hoopz and Red Oyster (I swear those are really their names, I couldn't make up Red Oyster). As every girl recieved a clock, Flav asked them the eternal question: "Do you know what time it is?" Now I don't really know why he asks them this, but it was INTENSE! WHEW! I need a nap now!

Around the World in 80 Days: Historical Fact? Or Historical FUN!?

I don't actually think the movie was true but what a great headline huh? So alot of holiday time movies are coming out, and I haven't seen one of them. So here's my uniformed opinion: If Walk the Line and Harry Potter IV had a baby it would be a secoond slightly smaller, slightly less powerful God. Also, Rent is the moving story of incredibly poor people with $1000 out fits and perfectly done hair. Thank you and good night.

40 Year old Virgin- Too Close to Home for Some

There is a benefit to living in Norman OK, and that it the Dollar Theatre, specifically 50 cent tuesday. Every tuesday the rapper comes into town and delivers "gats" and "nines" and "boomy boom sticks" (my own slang, trying to get it started ghetto represent) to all the little orphan children, who then go out in the streets and rap to their heart's content! Tis a glorious day celebrated by the dollar theatre slashing its prices to only fifty american pennies and usually me and my friends skip class... because we hate school. We recently enjoyed the fine film "The 40 year Old Virgin". It wasn't what I would call "excellent" but it had its scenes. The scene where The Virgin tries to figure out condoms? PRICELESS! And the ending sequence makes the 50 cent price WELL worth it.

And I have to say, I am horny for the Get Smart movie starring Steve Carell...yeah that's right...HORNY FOR IT! As long as there is a kick ass Agent 99...suggestions?

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What would you think of a Zelda movie starring Elijah Wood? Who would play Gannon? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Zombi Humor

How does this happen? I watched the first in the epic series yesterday, and one of the main plot points I picked up on was Bernie is...dead... So basically, two douches kidnap a dead guy to have fun. Thats called grave robbing. Is this a behavior we should be encouraging? Whats the justification for why he's not...buried yet? Is Bernie on display in the vatican for 365 days? And is he not starting to rot? I don't see how these guys can justify to themselves this behavior.

"Hey Larry!"
"Yeah Richard?"
"Want to take advantage of that corpse some more?"
"You mean abuse his body, steal his stuff, and generally show disrespect for the dead?"
"Yes I do!"
"But why would we do that?"
"For the money!"
"Oh ok! Lets do it!"

Or I imagine it going something like that.

Disney fame machine 50 years young and running!

I have seen ALOT of super hero movies, from Ultraman to Condorman. Today I had the pleasure to see Sky High for free. Let me tell you, it was worth every cent. Excitement? Adventure? Kurt Russel? Check, check, and Double Check!!!

I actually had a similar idea to this not 6 months ago, before I ever heard about this movie. It was going to be about a superhero summer camp. All this kids in this camp have super powers, but here's the thing: The movie has nothing to do with the fact that they have powers. Its just about them and they HAPPEN to have powers. Then, at the end of the summer they play the fat kids camp from across the lake and use their super powers to embarass them. If possible, I intended to get all the original cast members from the movie Heavyweights to play the fat kids...or maybe the heros.
Well, Sky High contains no epic battle between the forces of good and the forces of obesity, but I still give it a thumbs up. Its got enough jokes for older kids and still keeps the innocence for the younger ones. I would probably go see it again for free.

I will say though, I didn't like this sequel as much as the original:

How high? Sky high!

Spirit: Stallion of the HORRIFYING!!!!

Hey America! You're an idiot!

Ok that was a little harsh...hugs? Everything ok?

Do you do ANY research into what movie you're about to see? No, don't answer, I am making a point. Let me relate to you three parables about the peoples.

On the opening night of Devil's Rejects we were slammed. This middle aged couple came out and demanded a refund. Why? Because it was religiously offensive...hmmm...now let me see if I get this straight. They came to see a movie called Devil's Rejects directed boy Rob Zombie, and didn't expect it to be offensive? To quote the lady, "They were against Jesus!"

There was the couple who was looking at the posters. The woman says "Hmmm plan your escape...we could see that movie. I have never seen Plan Your Escape." That is of course, the tagline for The Island. Stupid stupid people.

Ok so here's my personal favorite.
We do free kids shows every Tuesday morning. This week we were showing Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Yeah, it's that animated movie about the horse. Kid friendly? Oh how foolish we were!
There we were, thinking it was just a normal day. Then this woman comes out and demands to know "what movie" she was watching. "Spirit" we replied innoncently. Little did we know the debauchery going on in theatre number 7! A half an hour later she cam out again and informed us (for those with weak stomachs stop reading now) there was a horse DYING in that cartoon! She demanded to know how we could dare show that movie. Look at this second screen shot I found:














So the moral of the story is: Don't trust people, they'll only hurt you.